"Nobody asked me, but" is my occasional tribute to the great New York sportswriter Jimmy Cannon. When Cannon could think of nothing on his beat to write about, he'd type out one of these.
Nobody asked me but...
...of all the shortages of the world, we are most short of grown-ups.
...I don't trust people who use the word "model," as in business model.
...In fact, the trouble with the advertising business model, and with almost all other business models, is that no one thinks they have to pay for anything anymore.
...I also don't trust people who post inspirational homilies on their Facebook and LinkedIn feeds.
...I unfriend a lot of people.
....I think Donald Trump will be out of office by July 4th.
....And Rex Tillerson will go down, too.
....I'm not a violent man, but I'd like to use Paul Ryan as a pinata.
...Never try to eat a steak with a plastic knife and fork.
....Whenever it's 91-degrees like it's supposed to be today, I think of Ogden Nash's great poem: "A bit of talcum/Is always walcum."
...Not enough people these days know Ogden Nash.
...I'm no longer a baseball fan, but I do wish I could cut out of the office on a cool afternoon, grab a beer and a dog and watch a game.
...I'd probably last four innings, and choke on a $9 hotdog.
...I think I'm the last man in America who shaves every day.
...I feel like a bum when I don't shave.
...I wonder how many people will be wearing wool caps today in 91-degree heat.
...When you're heading downtown, 5th moves better than Park. Take Park and you could wind up writing your daily post in a taxi.